G.E.M Deng Ziqi’s album “City Zoo” won the jury prize at the 31st Golden Melody Awards, which was held on 3rd October 2020. The singer shared her excitement on her Weibo post, followed by a heartfelt and even upsetting (but nevertheless grateful) lengthy confession about her music, as well as her journey as a singer.
The Golden Melody Awards, even if I’m now in Shanghai, I should join too!
Red carpet, even if the carpet in my room is not red, I should walk it too!
Participating in the Golden Melody Awards from a long distance
Originally I was going to guest as the last performer
But due to the COVID pandemic I’m unable to go
But we still need to be ceremonious in this
Let’s watch the live broadcast together
Can I also be a rival of the prettiest at the red carpet?
Later, on 4th October, GEM expressed her thoughts in another lengthy post on Weibo.
Full translated post:
My first Golden Melody Awards. Thank you!
At this moment, I remember two of my songs:
You said I am a commodity. I won’t be able to do it without you.
The twisted truth almost destroyed my confidence.
~ lyrics from her song, “Full Stop”
The years that you kept on telling me that I won’t be able to do anything without you, that I am just a mere commodity, even my name is registered as a trademark without my knowledge… After I leave, as the original author of all the works I have written before, the copyright still needs to be obtained through litigation… There are also unspeakable obstacles as time goes by… During this time, how many times have I almost given up…
But today once again I proved to myself and also to you that I am really not a commodity in your hands, I can still do it without you, and I bloom even more.
I have always came in first at everything since I was young
No matter how hard I gritted my teeth, no matter how tired I am, I will not shed a tear
I have the willpower for obsessive-compulsive disorder which should not be wasted
The cabinets in my house are full with trophies
The world tells you that success depends on yourself
What is success, I don’t know the exact meaning
I have become a person with influence
But being outstanding still didn’t bring me freedom
~ lyrics from her song, “Lonely”
Why do I want to thank the people who made this album along with me? It’s not because everyone helped me win the award. As I said in “Lonely”, the excellence that the world tells, will not bring you freedom. However, when I faced all kinds of difficulties and obstacles last year, all of you accompanied me and helped me to create an album that I really like. Moreover, you listened to it repeatedly many times. I really feel thankful!
I think in creating music, if I don’t like to listen to it, it’s boring no matter how successful it is; if I like to listen to it, no matter if it is successful or unsuccessful, it is pleasurable, it is a pride. So thank you:
Mark, Kristy, Vinci, T-ma, Chen Lingtao, Lao Dao, Richard, Brian, Matt Sim, Randy, Xiaoyi, Director Birja, Director Liao Renshuai, Director Birdy, 8iD, Captain Director, Tian Xun and Xiao Tianxun Director , Dora, Cooney, Yan Baijun, Calvin, Sony Music and Sony ATV, all of my colleagues, my family friends and fans, and my God!
In March 2019, the pop diva announced termination of her contract with music label Hummingbird Music, which resulted in a HKD $120 million lawsuit. At that time, some netizens discovered that Hummingbird Music applied for the trademark “Deng Ziqi” (which is GEM’s Chinese name) on September 5, 2014. The trademark of the singer-songwriter’s name was not even known to GEM at the time, as she revealed in the post above.